Paisa in Denial

This is how Domincans come from the beach.

• If you ride a motorcycle with chacletas (slippers) you get... 5000 paisa points (500 if it is a bicycle)


• If you are a man and you wear Daisy Dukes in public you get ... 85,000 paisa points
  
• If you do not wear a shirt while riding your motorcycle you get... 6000 paisa points


• If your lady has to hold on to your "lonjas" ... you get 50,000 paisa points
  

Paisa Hearse

• This whole picture gets 100,000 paisa points.

Paisa Calendar

• I am sorry, but if you have calendar given to you by "Paisano Barber Shop" you get 5000 paisa points
• If you are a proud owner of a 2009 Paisano Barber Shop calendar you get 5000 paisa points
• If your Paisa calendar has May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) in red as a holiday and each of the Latinamerican country's independence days...1500 paisa points
• If you use your Paisa calendar to track the of all the award shows in Univision like: "Furia Musical"and "Premios lo Nuestro"... 6000 paisa points

Dominican Paisa Chancleta

• If you were ever spanked with a "Chancleta Samurai" (seen in the picture at the right, the darker ones) you get 100 paisa points for each time.
• If you own or owned a "Chancleta Samurai" you get 1000 paisa points fo each pair you ever owned.
• If you ever broke your chancletas and you used and hot rod to poke holes in order to saw it back together... you ge 5000 paisa points.
• If you a proficient in the technique of chancleta throwing and you can hit a US president from 1000 yard... you get 5000 paisa points
• If you bought a knock-off "Chancleta Samurai", you know, the cheaper version of the original (seen on the right the lighter color chancleta)... you get 1000 paisa points per pair.
• If you ever went to the store wearing your chancletas, you get 1500 paisa points
• If while wearing your chancletas to the store, you also wore rollers on your head and a hair net... you get 2000 extra paisa points
• If you ask your family from Dominican Republic to send you a pair of "chancletas" or "calisos" (thongs) because the ones they sell in "La Duarte" are better... you get 5000 paisa points.
• If you ever rode your bike wearing chancletas... you get 500 paisa points
• If you had two pairs of chancleta, one to walk inside the house and the other one for quick runs to the store, you get another 1500 paisa points
• If you ever used your heavy "Chancletas Samurai" as weights to work out, you get 100 paisa points
• If you ever used your chancleta as a doorstop... 1000 paisa points
• If took off you chancletas to mop the floor and put them on top of the bed with the soles pointing up... 500 paisa points
• If you used your chancletas to kill a roach...100 paisa points
• If you ever borrowed a chancleta to kill a roach...500 paisa points
• If you threw your chancleta to kill a roach from far away... 1000 paisa points
• If you used your chancleta to bring down mangoes or oranges or coconuts... 500 paisa points
• If you know that you cannot bring coconuts down with a chancleta... 1000 paisa points
• If you ever thought that "Chancletas Samurai" are actually worn by Samurais... 1000 paisa points
• If you just found out that "Chancletas Samurai" are not actually worn by Samurais... 5000 paisa points and 500 dumb points

Paisa DJ Wannabe

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• If your clothes should be bought at children section of the store... 500 paisa points
• If you wear a DJ hat, you get 1000 paisa points
• If you look like "Nelson De La Rosa"...1000 paisa points
• If when you wear this outfit you are called "DJ Frustrado"... 2000 paisa points
• If you are dying to see yourself in the internet... 2000 paisa points
• If someone passes by your desk and they wonder "when did the circus get to town?" you get 50,000 paisa points.

Paisa Game

OK this is a contribution by Mikey! Paisa game of the year... Accordion Hero. The "Fefita la Grande" game to come soon. It will include her red outfit and bra.

Pink Floyd Norteño - Please rate it yourself

Feel free to comment on this video and give it your own Paisa Appraisal™ and I will put your rating for you. You will get full credit for appraisal points.

Paisa Limosine

What can I say? This is paisa in so many levels!
This model did not have power steering or air conditioner

• If you own a lada with no power steering... you get 5000 paisa points.
• If your Lada is limousine, you you get 1500 paisa points.
• If you use your Lada to taxi, you get 500 paisa points.
• If your Lada has a luggage rack... you get 1000 paisa points
• If your Lada's engine failed and you replaced it with a Datsun engine... you get 15,000 paisa points.

Paisa Relaxing

• If you use a seat from a car as furniture... you get 100,000 (OK, Washington Heights?)
• If you take a nap in a public area... 20,000 paisa points
• If you wear a "wife-beater" that you call a "franelita" you get 5000 paisa points
• If you wear a paisa hat in the city... 50,000 paisa points
• If you wear a white belt that belongs to your girlfriend, you get 5000 paisa points and 10,000 gay points
• If you have a Pancho Villa mustache... 100,000 paisa points (this is usually considered a paisa flag)

Paisa Fake ID

If you take a fake id picture with your jaina or jevita (girl)... you get 50,000 paisa points

If your name is Jose Pacheco, you go to the Paisa Hall of Fame with .... 1,000,000

If you actually showed this fake id to a human being thinking they are going to accept it... 250,000 paisa points

Paisa Celebrity

This is my friend Ferner and future American Secretary of Commerce, Bill Richardson at the airport in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic in 1996.

• If you wear a funky "Dragon Bue" rain coat looking thing, you get 50,000 paisa points.
• If your "Dragon Blue" rain coat matches your "Dragon Blue" Ford Escort... 4000 paisa points
• If you wear a Indiana Jones vest, just so you will look like you are a member of the press... 5000 paisa points
• If the only people that wear vests are you and Diego (Dora the Explorer's cousin)... 1000 paisa points
• If you put two pens in the front pocket of your Diego vest... 3000 paisa points
• If on your left hand you are holding a baseball cap from "Los Tigres del Licey"... 1500 paisa points

Paisa Singer

• If you play the acordion, you get 5000 paisa points
  
• If your stage name is "Fefita la Grande" you get 5000 paisa points
• If you wear a belly dancer belt, you get 1000 paisa points
• If you wear a locomotive conductor hat, you get 1000 paisa points
• If you expose the bra you bought at a store called "Loco-loco", you get 8000 paisa points
• If you have a tatoo on your belly that looks like it was done using a paper-mate pen and a kitchen knife, you get 2000 paisa points
• If you take a promotional picture sitting on the lawn in front of an appartment building, you get 1000 paisa points
• If you shave your eyebrows and then paint them with a marker with a lighter color, you get 1000 paisa points and 10,000 cholo and ghetto points
• If you look at this picture and you wonder if the outfit was bought at "La Perrona", "Loco-loco", "Sederias California" or "K-momo" you get 5000 paisa points
• If you own a CD by "Fefita La Grande", you get 5000 paisa points
• If you look at this picture and you suddenly feel the urge to play your many CD's by "Fefita la Grande" or you think that iTunes should have more "Fefita" you get 1000 paisa points and you get to be the cyber paisa of the day.
• If this is you in the picture and you are thinking "Que buena estoy!" (Darn, I look good!)
• Finally, if you use a picture of "Fefita" as a chrismas card.... you get 15,000 paisa points and make me wonder what other paisa tricks you have up your sleeve

Paisa Costume 2

• If you pose with a guitar you do not play... 1000 paisa points
• If you wear a leather jacket 3 sizes too big... 2000 paisa points
• If you wear senior citizen glasses... 1000 paisa points
• If you wear a "Cantinflas" hat thinking is a cowboy hat... 5000 paisa points
• If you wear sketchers with your cowboy outfit... 1500 paisa points
• If you pose with a liquor bottle filled with vinegar... 2500 paisa points
• If you do not think there is anything wrong with this picture and this is a cool outfit... 1000 paisa points

Paisa Hats

• If you own Tigres del Licey Baseball hat... you get 1000 paisa points
• If your new Tigres del Licey hat looks like you owned it for 20 years... you get 1000 paisa points
• If you have a "Malta India" hat, you get... 5000 paisa points
• If you wear your "Malta India" hat while drinking Malta India... you get 1000 extra paisa points
• If you own a hat with your country's flag and name... You get 100,000 paisa points (This is the definition of being paisa)
• If you wear your country hat in public during a paisa related activity like a parade... 5000 paisa points
• If you wear your country hat, with your country shirt, your country shorts and country socks... You get an impressive 500,000 paisa points and the honor of being paisa king for a week
• If you wear all these hats, the same week.... 6000 paisa points
• If having these three hats is not enough for you and you keep bugging your relatives in the motherland to send you more paisa gear... 10,000 paisa points each time you mention these words: "mandame una cachucha" (send me a hat)

Paisa Costume

• If you use burned car oil to make your skin darker... 2000 paisa points
• If you use palm leaves to make your tribal skirt... 5000 paisa points
• If your weapon is a stick from a broom that your mother needs right now to clean the house... 3000 paisa points
• If at the end of the day your mother will beat you with a "Samurai" brand slipper for acting dumb and getting your picture taken doing so... 1000 paisa points and 5000 retarded points.
  

Dominican Paisa Bus

• If you fit 20 people in a van that was designed for 12...2000 paisa points
• If you use your van as a public transportation bus... 4000 paisa points
• If you use a "cobrador," a person who collects the fare for you... 1000 paisa points
• If the cobrador rides with most of his body outside the van... 7000 paisa points
• If you ride on this van ... 10,000 paisa points
• If you are sitting in the front, between the driver and the window passenger... 50,000 paisa points
• If you look at this picture and you think this is a great idea for a transportation business, 50,000 paisa points
• If you look at the cobrador and you think: "Where did he get those shades?"...3000 paisa points
• If you rather ride on the blue truck on the right... you get 1500 paisa points

Paisa Shoes

• If you wear shoes 1 or 2 sizes bigger than yours. 1000 paisa points
• If you own 3 pairs of these paisa shoies. 1000 paisa points
• If your shoes look like boots. 1000 paisa points
• If you can scoop out potatoes with your shoes. 1000 paisa points
• If the celebrities that wear your shoes include Aladin and the Spanish group Locomia. 1000 paisa points
  

Paisa Cooler

If you install a padlock oon your cooler, you get 1000 paisa points

If you actually think that putting a padlock on your cooler will prevent paisas from stealing your beer, you get another 1000 paisa points

If the screws to your padlock are expossed and can be open witha screw driver anyway... you get 2000 paisa points and 5000 retarded points.

Paisas playing Wii

If you pretend like boxing on the Wii is actual boxing, you get 1000 paisa points.

If you watch paisas playing Wii like it is an actual boxing match, you get 2000 paisa points.

Paisa of the Day

1. If you wear a Tommy Hilfiger shirt or a "Toño Hilfigaro" shirt you get 1500 paisa points
3. If your Tommy Hilfiger shir is too tight you ge 500 paisa points

If you look like McLovin from "Super Bad" you get 100 paisa points

Paisa Picture of the Day

If you work for the telephone company and you use a telephone cord that is connected to the wall to hold your door... you get 1000 paisa points

What are the Paisa Points?

We are handing out paisa points at work for people that acted like they were still living in their motherland. For example:

1. If you prefer orange Fanta over Sunkist, you get $100 paisa points


2. If you have your city, state or country of origin written on the windshield of your car... you get $1,000 paisa points


3. If at work you have a picture of a horse, a mule, a donkey or a rooster as your desktop background... you ge $2,000 paisa points

I hope you get the picture. In this blog we will gather pictures, stories and videos of paisa moments and hand out the proper paisa points. You can consider me your "Paisa Appraiser."